Early on during the 12 week program with Revelation Fitness, I lost four pounds per week. I emailed my client manager, Sheryl, and asked if I should expect to lose weight at that rate for the rest of the program.
“No,” she said. “There will be plateaus. And we’ll work through them.”
My plateau came not so much in struggling with pounds lost, but with motivation. It goes a little something like this: Around week six I got a bad cold that kept me out of working out for two weeks.
I stayed on the meal plan during that time, and got down to about 198, just three pounds short of my 195 goal. After two weeks off and the encouraging voices of my friends and family telling me how good I looked ringing in my ear, it was hard to motivate myself again.
I half assed it for a couple of weeks, yada yada, and now I am at 192, from a starting weight of 223.
Feeling Good
On the one hand, yes, I’m feeling like a sexy bitch.
A couple of weeks ago I was at an outlet mall with a friend, with no intention of getting anything. Just for kicks, I tried on a pair of size 32 pants. I fully expected to not be able to pull them up past mid leg. (I had been a 36 before starting the program).
I got them all the way up, but was certain the clasp would not close around my waste. But then it closed. I zipped up the zipper and felt a surge of victory when no material ripped. I did a small little dance just to test things out, and sure as shit, those pants fit. “Holy shit, they fucking fit!” I texted a few friends immediately.
I almost pooped in those pants right then, right there in the Eddie Bauer changing room. I wound up driving home from that outlet mall with three new pairs of pants, all size 32, and two shirts, both size Large. I felt like a new man, since all my post-weight loss, oversized clothing makes me look like a clown or gangster.
As of today, almost 12 weeks from when I started, I’m 31 pounds lighter and about 10 years younger. The last time I weighed this much, it was the early days of the George W. Bush Administration.
Mixed Emotions
But I’ve also got mixed emotions, because I haven’t been working out as much in the last several weeks. Mind you, when I meet up with Kevan and the group at 5:30 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays, it’s freaking go time. He’s not happy until we’ve cursed his name or collapsed to the floor.
When it comes to doing my own “homework”…. Not so much. I’ll usually do two or three workouts at the very most. Often it is just one or two. So I could theoretically be ripped at something like 185 right now if I had carried over the effort from the first six weeks into the second half.
But as Confucius once said, “Twelve weeks is a long freaking time.”
Over the last two weeks I’ve started doing what I hope to continue doing once the program is over. Working out three or four times a week and keeping the meal plan strict 80 percent of the time.
I can’t even believe I’ve gotten this far. When I sat down with Mariah in the café at Central Market on Lamar to talk about the Revelation Fitness program, or with Eric in my living room for my orientation a couple of weeks later, I honestly didn’t think I would get down below 200, much less below 195.
I had given up hope that it was something I could do. I had every intention of following through with the program, but my faith wasn’t there that the results would follow.
Well, the hard work paid off. It’s freaking empowering. I no longer begrudge celebrities that have lost a bunch of weight in a short period of time. (You are my brother, Kevin Federline!)
Floor Sweepers, Shmoor Sweepers
It’s fun conquering exercises that literally made me fall on my face the first time I tried them. Decline pushups, anyone? Floor sweepers? Go ahead and look up floor sweepers, try them out and see how that goes for you.
You lie on your back on the floor holding a barbell or some dumbbells straight up above you, as if you had just completed a bench press rep. Then you move your legs around in the air in a figure eight motion, using your abs like a mofo and keeping that weight up.
I did some the other day, or rather, Kevan made me do some the other day, and they hurt like hell. But I was able to do them and I can’t tell you how good that felt.
Milestones
It’s been fun checking off milestones as the weight has come off.
- At 6 foot and 223 pounds, I looked nothing like the free safeties that roam the NFL secondaries at those same dimensions.
- At 215, I was at the weight that prompted me to sign up for and train for a marathon in 2003.
- I weighed 210 at end of the summer of 2008 when I did three sprint triathlons.
- 203, my weight when I finished that 2003 marathon.
- Finally I was under 200 and couldn’t believe it. The last time I weighed that much, I lived in Boston and worked for an insurance company. (I call those the dark times. But I digress).
Note: I’m not counting the period of about six hours in February 2010 when I weighed 199. I had lost like 15 or more pounds after an appendectomy thanks to a two-week diet of jello and chicken broth. I quickly gained it all back.
Getting Ready for Phase II
So it feels good. I’m darn proud of myself. Because of the two weeks off for being sick, I’ve got two more weeks of workouts with that bastard, Kevan, coming my way. And then I’ve got to starting thinking about running. I’ll probably join a program at Rogue Training Systems and my coach will probably be Scotty MacPherson.
I’m sure Scotty, another heartless, ruthless bastard, will know exactly how I should tackle that 5k goal I’ve set for myself. I’m certain that’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. I ran the original 18:24 time during my senior year of cross country in high school. And I remember a LOT of very painful workouts and mileage that led to that moment.
I’m trying to set a realistic, and not too uncomfortable, time goal. Is a year too much or two little? Two years?
I am not looking to kill myself. If I try to do it too soon, it’s likely I’ll be turned off by the intensity. If I set it too far off, I’m likely to lollygag. But Scotty is just as merciless as Kevan, so I have a feeling I really won't have much say in the next round of physical pain coming my way.
